Terms of Endearment

My daughter was beaming from head to toe the other day when we got on the airplane and the pilot called her “cutie”. She whispered back to me what he had said and she told her dad and brother as well. She was so happy to be loved on by this stranger with a term of endearment. And you can imagine how excited she was when on the way off the plane the flight attendant said “bye cutie” to her. “Cutie” is one of the love words I use with her. Every morning when she wakes up I say, “Good morning, cutie.” This is a word that makes her feel special.

Today I went to Starbucks on the way to work (which is sadly a regular enough ritual that the workers at 2 different Starbucks know who I am!). As the lady handed me my coffee she said, “Have a great day, sweetie”. This made me smile. This is actually one of the main reasons I go to these two Starbucks. Both of them have these motherly type women who call me “Sweetie”. It brightens my day.


A few years, or even months, ago, I never would have noticed such little acts of love. But these days I find myself craving little pats on the shoulder, hugs and words of endearment. I was pondering this on the way to work this morning and realized that one of the reasons this is true is that before I was not letting myself be open to other people. I had closed myself off from those particular acts of love (even from strangers) because I was so afraid to get hurt. I was so afraid of being rejected that I didn’t really let others hug me or brushed off words of love. I held people at arms length.

One thing I have realized lately is that pain is inevitable. In the famous words of William Goldman (author of The Princess Bride), “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.” While I agree that it is true that life is pain. I also think that there are two different ways that you can approach that fact. You can hide from the world, keep everyone at arms length and wear full body armor to protect yourself. Or you can realize that you probably will get hurt sometimes – but let yourself enjoy the times where you are not hurt. Because even though the pain is real and leaves scars – God can love you in the midst of pain through others (even strangers). And that does feel good. That does make me smile.