Learning to Rejoice
Romans 5:3-4
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Rejoice in our sufferings? Are you kidding me? Rejoice when my husband of 15 years tells me he wants out of our marriage? Rejoice when my best friend treats me like dirt and walks out of my life? Rejoice when my entire life falls into a million pieces when my husband walks out on me for another woman? When I have nowhere to live, no job, no hope of a future?
If you had read me this verse 3 months ago I would have never believed I could rejoice in anything again. My life was in utter despair. I felt worthless and unlovable and alone. I wondered what was so wrong with me that everyone walked away from me. I was struggling to breathe – let alone find God in the situation.
So for the first month, breathing was my goal. Just breathing. That was all I could do. Then month two became about resting in God. Letting Him begin to pick up the pieces of my shattered life because I could not even begin to fathom where He was going with this. Life was so hopeless that I had to trust. I had no other choice if I wanted to survive.
We are coming up on month three. And now I can read this verse. I can read it and claim it and live it. I get suffering. Unlike I ever have before. I understand perseverance. That was the breathing and surviving part- the just staying alive part. And I am emerging different now.
I am in a place where all of my life has been stripped away. Every piece of security I had was gone. And I was left with myself- myself and God. And I learned to be enough just as I am. And to love myself and let God love me in ways I had not begun to fathom before. And my character was forever changed in a way that I can see would never have happened any other way than having everyone leave. All the destructive relationships stripped away so that new ones could be rebuilt.
And now I have found the hope that was promised. I see glimpses of amazing goodness. I feel deeply loved by God and true friends who don’t want me to be anything other than myself.
A friend gave me a song that finally put the whole thing together for me. It gave me the rejoicing part of the verse.
”Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing”
The picture of climbing up in Jesus’ lap and having Him sing over me was the perfect picture that I needed to understand. What else can I do but keep singing? Keep rejoicing? That IS the only way that I will find healing.
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."
Rejoice in our sufferings? Are you kidding me? Rejoice when my husband of 15 years tells me he wants out of our marriage? Rejoice when my best friend treats me like dirt and walks out of my life? Rejoice when my entire life falls into a million pieces when my husband walks out on me for another woman? When I have nowhere to live, no job, no hope of a future?
If you had read me this verse 3 months ago I would have never believed I could rejoice in anything again. My life was in utter despair. I felt worthless and unlovable and alone. I wondered what was so wrong with me that everyone walked away from me. I was struggling to breathe – let alone find God in the situation.
So for the first month, breathing was my goal. Just breathing. That was all I could do. Then month two became about resting in God. Letting Him begin to pick up the pieces of my shattered life because I could not even begin to fathom where He was going with this. Life was so hopeless that I had to trust. I had no other choice if I wanted to survive.
We are coming up on month three. And now I can read this verse. I can read it and claim it and live it. I get suffering. Unlike I ever have before. I understand perseverance. That was the breathing and surviving part- the just staying alive part. And I am emerging different now.
I am in a place where all of my life has been stripped away. Every piece of security I had was gone. And I was left with myself- myself and God. And I learned to be enough just as I am. And to love myself and let God love me in ways I had not begun to fathom before. And my character was forever changed in a way that I can see would never have happened any other way than having everyone leave. All the destructive relationships stripped away so that new ones could be rebuilt.
And now I have found the hope that was promised. I see glimpses of amazing goodness. I feel deeply loved by God and true friends who don’t want me to be anything other than myself.
A friend gave me a song that finally put the whole thing together for me. It gave me the rejoicing part of the verse.
”Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing
Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing”
The picture of climbing up in Jesus’ lap and having Him sing over me was the perfect picture that I needed to understand. What else can I do but keep singing? Keep rejoicing? That IS the only way that I will find healing.
posted by Amie at 6:49 PM
2 Comments:
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