Thursday, June 23, 2005

The Blame Game

Why do we feel the need to blame someone when something doesn't go our way? We point fingers and push the blame as far away from ourselves as we can - in a desperate defensive move.

What are we afraid of? That something will be our own fault? Can't stuff just be? Some things just happen and we are left with a choice of dealing with them. They are no one's fault at all. They just are.

But we are so scared that we might have caused this problem and someone is going to blame us that we blame others. We are so afraid to own up to our mistakes that we hide from the reality.
And sometimes blaming can hurt.

Being the one always blamed for stuff can make you start to feel like you are worthless and that no one loves you.

Everyone has said that it is all my fault.

My fault that my friend walked out of my life because I expected too much. I loved too much. The fact that I did not expect anything seems to be irrelevant. Truth doesn't matter in this equation because someone needs to accept the blame. I guess that is me. Because I would rather be sorry and repentant than right. Even if the blame was unfairly given.

It is my fault that we are moving to Texas. Because I said I would go. Because I was supportive of my husband. So somehow I made him take the job and now our lives are ruined.

What is so wrong with me that I am always to blame? I try too hard. I don't try hard enough. I am not perfect. I have a target on my forehead.

I don't know. And I don't get it. And although it should make me mad...and I probably should fight back more from unfair accusations. Instead I just take it and bleed on the inside. Because part of me feels like I am such a terrible person that somehow I must deserve it.

And that is the lie I am fighting right now. But it is getting me down. And it is shouting into my heart so loudly that it is drowning out any truth that might exist deep down in there.

So my plea to anyone who might be reading this pitiful little post is this. Stop blaming people for stuff. It wastes energy. It is hurtful. And really- does it accomplish anything at all? Just stop. And maybe take a minute to think about someone you might have blamed for something and if you have the courage - apologize. Tell them that they are worthy of love. Wouldn't our world be a better place if we took our eyes off of ourselves for five minutes and looked around?

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amen! It's all about Love. But, why is it so hard to love?! I guess we just love because we love Jesus - because he loved us (when he really didn't have to).

Nathan

3:40 PM  

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