Finding the Meaning
I knew Laurie.
She worked at Starbucks and made me Peppermint Mochas. She was always smiling and friendly. She was that pretty girl that had a ton of energy and everyone liked. She was engaged to Scott...who made me laugh everytime I went into Starbucks. They were in love and had everything going for them.
Laurie was one of my daughter's Promiseland leaders. She was one of Molly's favorites. She was fun and happy and loved my daughter well.
But last Wednesday Laurie disappeared. One minute she was text messaging her fiance that she was studying for a test and the next minute she was gone. No one knew where she had gone.
When she was on the news I remember being shocked that I knew Laurie. Where was she? What could have possibly happened to her?
I worried about her. Prayed for her.
And realized how little I really knew Laurie when I found out that she had drowned herself in Lake Michigan last Wednesday.
Why would a 20 year old girl who was a straight A student, recently engaged and loved by her family and friends do such a thing?
That is the question we are all asking ourselves now as we try to piece together the answer to the why question.
Why did no one see it coming? How is that possible?
I know someone who had dinner with her on Tuesday night.
Everything was fine. She was great. Never said a word that anything was bothering her.
She spoke with her fiance several times on Wednesday.
He had no idea.
Why?
Why would someone who is in so much pain that she would end her life in such a horrible way not let anyone in? Why would she not cry out for help before taking such a bold step?
It really makes me think about how we know each other.
It really makes me think about listening.
It makes me think about how valuable each person's life is.
600 people sat in a room tonight and cried for Laurie.
Do you think that she thought that no one cared about her?
Do you think she did not see the friends who loved her and wanted to listen to her?
Do you think that she thought that God did not love her?
God cried tonight too.
He cried for his daughter who was in so much pain that she would think that death was the only way out.
He cried for her friends who were hurting.
He cried for her fiance who does not know Him and is alone in his grief.
He cried for her family who is reeling from the loss and crying out to Him to comfort them.
I have so many questions about what happened to Laurie. Questions that I am not ever going to have answers for. I don't know if I will ever find meaning for such a tragedy.
But this is what I know.
This tragedy reinforces my conviction that we need to be authentic with each other. Life is too short to pretend we are fine when we are not. Life is too short for us not to spend time listening to each other's stories...the good and the bad. Life is too short for us not to tell each other that we love them.
I hope that Laurie is finding comfort now. Comfort in her father's arms. Because he knows Laurie. He knows her and He loves her.
She worked at Starbucks and made me Peppermint Mochas. She was always smiling and friendly. She was that pretty girl that had a ton of energy and everyone liked. She was engaged to Scott...who made me laugh everytime I went into Starbucks. They were in love and had everything going for them.
Laurie was one of my daughter's Promiseland leaders. She was one of Molly's favorites. She was fun and happy and loved my daughter well.
But last Wednesday Laurie disappeared. One minute she was text messaging her fiance that she was studying for a test and the next minute she was gone. No one knew where she had gone.
When she was on the news I remember being shocked that I knew Laurie. Where was she? What could have possibly happened to her?
I worried about her. Prayed for her.
And realized how little I really knew Laurie when I found out that she had drowned herself in Lake Michigan last Wednesday.
Why would a 20 year old girl who was a straight A student, recently engaged and loved by her family and friends do such a thing?
That is the question we are all asking ourselves now as we try to piece together the answer to the why question.
Why did no one see it coming? How is that possible?
I know someone who had dinner with her on Tuesday night.
Everything was fine. She was great. Never said a word that anything was bothering her.
She spoke with her fiance several times on Wednesday.
He had no idea.
Why?
Why would someone who is in so much pain that she would end her life in such a horrible way not let anyone in? Why would she not cry out for help before taking such a bold step?
It really makes me think about how we know each other.
It really makes me think about listening.
It makes me think about how valuable each person's life is.
600 people sat in a room tonight and cried for Laurie.
Do you think that she thought that no one cared about her?
Do you think she did not see the friends who loved her and wanted to listen to her?
Do you think that she thought that God did not love her?
God cried tonight too.
He cried for his daughter who was in so much pain that she would think that death was the only way out.
He cried for her friends who were hurting.
He cried for her fiance who does not know Him and is alone in his grief.
He cried for her family who is reeling from the loss and crying out to Him to comfort them.
I have so many questions about what happened to Laurie. Questions that I am not ever going to have answers for. I don't know if I will ever find meaning for such a tragedy.
But this is what I know.
This tragedy reinforces my conviction that we need to be authentic with each other. Life is too short to pretend we are fine when we are not. Life is too short for us not to spend time listening to each other's stories...the good and the bad. Life is too short for us not to tell each other that we love them.
I hope that Laurie is finding comfort now. Comfort in her father's arms. Because he knows Laurie. He knows her and He loves her.
posted by Amie at 6:37 PM
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