Reality Television Addict
Why does reality television captivate me so? I must admit – I am hopelessly addicted. I love Road Rules, The Apprentice, Survivor. I tell myself that I only like the “good” shows, as if to justify the addiction, but then find myself watching trashy shows as well. I love seeing “real life” portrayed on screen. I think the reason I love to watch reality television is because I grew up in a fairly “sheltered” home. I was one of those kids who went to a Christian school, went to church on Sunday and went to Pioneer Girls during the week (think Girl Scouts…but instead of camping…we learned Bible verses!). All of my friends were Christians. I was not allowed to listen to “secular” music or see “R” rated movies.
In some ways- I am grateful for the way I was brought up. I learned a lot about Jesus growing up and always knew right from wrong. I didn’t feel the need to experiment with drugs and alcohol. I was spared a lot of pain that other kids went through because of that.
But- in other ways I feel a little slow. I did not hear the song “Like a Virgin” until I was married. My television programs were strictly monitered so I have never seen an episode of “The A Team” or “All in the Family”.
While that sounds funny or maybe like it is not such a big deal…there is something else that I missed growing up. I missed making my own choices about what I wanted to listen to or watch. I grew up with a very black and white mentality…I did not agree that things could be gray. But what I am learning as I get older is that EVERYTHING is gray. People don’t fit into the categories that I had in my head for things. In my head I would prejudge people or situations based on what I learned growing up instead of seeing them as people first who just happened to have flaws like we all do.
So how does watching reality television fit into this picture? What fascinates me so much about it is that I learn so much about people who are different from myself. I grew up with basically all of the same kind of friends…Christians. Now I work at a church and am again surrounded by Christians. When you live in the bubble of familiarity…it helps to step outside of yourself and see how life is for other people. It helps me be able to relate to the “general public”.
So I watch others live their lives…unscripted on television. My favorite shows are the ones with challenges involved. In those shows you learn about people and how they relate to each other. Sure you usually get introduced to them in a category….John the Christian, Sarah the lesbian, Harry the farmboy. This gives you a context for them….but what you quickly learn is that there is so much to who they are. You see how they relate to each other. You see how they strategize and plot. You see conflict and struggles. You see them break down and hold each other up.
It amazes me to see biblical principles being used in various ways on these shows. One of my favorite episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge was a show on which one of the characters sat down with the team and talked about some conflict that was going on and challenged them to air their feelings in an appropriate way and to forgive and move forward. I have been involved in Christian Matthew 18 sessions that did go as well and were far uglier. On that same RW/RR episode there was another thing going on that made me sick. The person who was proudly wearing the label of “Christian” was putting down other people and preaching to them without showing any love for them and who they are at all. It saddened me to see yet another example of Christianity given a bad name. But how often are we that person? It is so easy to show other people their sins…and so much harder to love them unconditionally where they are at. I am convinced Jesus would not be pointing out other people’s shortcomings…but would meet them in their brokenness and love them well.
I need a context in which to view the world…and that context happens to be reality television.
It helps me to develop compassion. I watch “the Bachelor” and can identify with the woman who so desperately wants to get married that she will buy into the lie that love can happen by competing with 15 other women to get the ultimate bachelor. How often do I do the same thing? I live in the midst of my own pain and live in delusions that are blatantly false. But I choose to live in them anyway as I attempt to control my world. This sparks great discussions with my single girlfriends…who are tempted to buy into that lie themselves…that love can be just like it is on television.
I love the theme of adventure on the Amazing Race. John Eldridge talks about how we all long for adventure in our lives. The Amazing Race lives that out…and yet it is also so real that some people can get so caught up in the adventure that they lose sight of their values and morals. All that counts is winning. Some people can appreciate the experience for what it is…and others will lie and manipulate and cheat in order to get one million dollars.
Survivor is another one that fascinates me. What would it be like to live in a community where there can be no trust? You never know who is playing you…who is going to vote you off the island. But some of us live like that anyway. We put up walls and don’t trust anyone with any real piece of ourselves. We are always playing a game…wanting to win. Not realizing that life is not a game. Not realizing that we don’t get any second chances. We only have one go round…and we are missing opportunities to let others into our pain…to let others walk this journey with us so we don’t have to be alone. Because even on Survivor they always end up alone at the end. It comes to the final tribal council and they are left alone to answer for all that they had done to get that far. And then they are judged on those answers. Aren’t you glad that we have God as our only judge??? I have faith that He loves me enough to forgive me all of those stupid things I did to win the game. So there they are…the confessions of a reality television junkie. I will unashamedly continue to watch these shows…and I will continue to find God in the midst of the broken reality that makes up our world.
In some ways- I am grateful for the way I was brought up. I learned a lot about Jesus growing up and always knew right from wrong. I didn’t feel the need to experiment with drugs and alcohol. I was spared a lot of pain that other kids went through because of that.
But- in other ways I feel a little slow. I did not hear the song “Like a Virgin” until I was married. My television programs were strictly monitered so I have never seen an episode of “The A Team” or “All in the Family”.
While that sounds funny or maybe like it is not such a big deal…there is something else that I missed growing up. I missed making my own choices about what I wanted to listen to or watch. I grew up with a very black and white mentality…I did not agree that things could be gray. But what I am learning as I get older is that EVERYTHING is gray. People don’t fit into the categories that I had in my head for things. In my head I would prejudge people or situations based on what I learned growing up instead of seeing them as people first who just happened to have flaws like we all do.
So how does watching reality television fit into this picture? What fascinates me so much about it is that I learn so much about people who are different from myself. I grew up with basically all of the same kind of friends…Christians. Now I work at a church and am again surrounded by Christians. When you live in the bubble of familiarity…it helps to step outside of yourself and see how life is for other people. It helps me be able to relate to the “general public”.
So I watch others live their lives…unscripted on television. My favorite shows are the ones with challenges involved. In those shows you learn about people and how they relate to each other. Sure you usually get introduced to them in a category….John the Christian, Sarah the lesbian, Harry the farmboy. This gives you a context for them….but what you quickly learn is that there is so much to who they are. You see how they relate to each other. You see how they strategize and plot. You see conflict and struggles. You see them break down and hold each other up.
It amazes me to see biblical principles being used in various ways on these shows. One of my favorite episodes of Real World/Road Rules Challenge was a show on which one of the characters sat down with the team and talked about some conflict that was going on and challenged them to air their feelings in an appropriate way and to forgive and move forward. I have been involved in Christian Matthew 18 sessions that did go as well and were far uglier. On that same RW/RR episode there was another thing going on that made me sick. The person who was proudly wearing the label of “Christian” was putting down other people and preaching to them without showing any love for them and who they are at all. It saddened me to see yet another example of Christianity given a bad name. But how often are we that person? It is so easy to show other people their sins…and so much harder to love them unconditionally where they are at. I am convinced Jesus would not be pointing out other people’s shortcomings…but would meet them in their brokenness and love them well.
I need a context in which to view the world…and that context happens to be reality television.
It helps me to develop compassion. I watch “the Bachelor” and can identify with the woman who so desperately wants to get married that she will buy into the lie that love can happen by competing with 15 other women to get the ultimate bachelor. How often do I do the same thing? I live in the midst of my own pain and live in delusions that are blatantly false. But I choose to live in them anyway as I attempt to control my world. This sparks great discussions with my single girlfriends…who are tempted to buy into that lie themselves…that love can be just like it is on television.
I love the theme of adventure on the Amazing Race. John Eldridge talks about how we all long for adventure in our lives. The Amazing Race lives that out…and yet it is also so real that some people can get so caught up in the adventure that they lose sight of their values and morals. All that counts is winning. Some people can appreciate the experience for what it is…and others will lie and manipulate and cheat in order to get one million dollars.
Survivor is another one that fascinates me. What would it be like to live in a community where there can be no trust? You never know who is playing you…who is going to vote you off the island. But some of us live like that anyway. We put up walls and don’t trust anyone with any real piece of ourselves. We are always playing a game…wanting to win. Not realizing that life is not a game. Not realizing that we don’t get any second chances. We only have one go round…and we are missing opportunities to let others into our pain…to let others walk this journey with us so we don’t have to be alone. Because even on Survivor they always end up alone at the end. It comes to the final tribal council and they are left alone to answer for all that they had done to get that far. And then they are judged on those answers. Aren’t you glad that we have God as our only judge??? I have faith that He loves me enough to forgive me all of those stupid things I did to win the game. So there they are…the confessions of a reality television junkie. I will unashamedly continue to watch these shows…and I will continue to find God in the midst of the broken reality that makes up our world.
posted by Amie at 1:50 PM
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