How Can You Give Away Something You Do Not Have?

This is a question I ask myself all of the time as I continually try to be everything for everyone. I so rarely take time for myself to fill up my tank with God – and yet I still somehow think that I can do and do and do and get frustrated when I burn out.
I need to remember that I am a vessel…like a Nalgene. And God provides the water in my Nalgene to fuel me and others for the journey.
As I journey through life I am constantly pouring out the water in my Nalgene to other people. I am listening to them, giving them advice, serving them, loving on them. And each time I do so I am pouring out drops of my precious water. There is only so much water in the Nalgene. Eventually it is going to empty out.
I need to STOP and take the time to fill my Nalgene. How do I practically do that? The only way I have found is to literally stop. Withdraw by myself…and spend time listening to God, letting Him give me advice, rest in Him and let Him love me. Sometimes He loves me by giving me physical rest. Because my earthly body gives out when I am constantly giving to others and I need to replenish it.
Sometimes He loves me by speaking words into my soul- through His word, through worship and through His small voice…deep within myself…that I have to strain to hear. But it is so worth it to do so- because His voice knows exactly what I need to hear. He is the only one who knows if I am lonely or sad or tired. He knows if I am feeling unworthy, or worthless or unloved. He knows exactly how to whisper truth to my heart and heal those hurts.
But I need to take time to listen.
Sometimes He loves me through other people. He prompts them to call or send words of encouragement in an email or a letter or a card. But rarely does He do this…because He knows me. He knows that my tendency is to latch on to those tangible words and replace Him in my heart with those earthly relationships. Sometimes that ends up sucking out more of my precious water and emptying my Nalgene faster.
Have you noticed that I am always giving away my water in my Nalgene? Sometimes I wonder if this is the healthy thing to do. I think it perpetuates the cycle. Maybe if I spent more time drinking my own Nalgene and not feeling guilty for doing so…it would not empty out at all. Maybe it would be more noticeable to me when it was getting low and I would take the time to fill it up before it was completely dry.
But I don’t do that very often. I am trying to learn the balance of caring for myself as well as caring for others. But it doesn’t come easily. For some reason there is guilt involved in caring for myself first. Even though I tell others to care for themselves all of the time.
Another case of “do as I say and not as I do”. Maybe there is pride wrapped up in that. I figure that I can do supernatural things that other people cannot do. Maybe I think I will be fine and not break down at all. Maybe that is Satan’s lie that he shouts into my head that is drowning out the Holy Spirit whispering quietly “be still”.
So it comes back to the question of how can I give away something I do not have? If I have no water in my Nalgene. If I don’t have Jesus. If I don’t feel loved. How can I give that away? And since giving that away is why I draw breath…if it is what makes me feel alive…why can’t I let myself have that?
I need to listen. I need to stop. When I stop I can hear Him. It is faint at first but then it gets louder as I strain to hear.

Be still and know that I am God.

Come to me and I will give you rest.

I will give you peace.

I will give you living water.

I will satisfy your soul.

Be still.

Be still.
Just be and let me wash over you.
Let me fill you up.