"Being On"
I have heard this phrase “I need to be on” for the past few years in many situations. And recently I have really taken a look at it. What does it mean to “be on” and why is this something we feel we “need” to do?
I have a “friend” who I know who practices this “being on” thing. He is frequently (as a part of his job) in charge of putting on various productions. When he is doing this he switches into “being on” mode. It is as if there is a show being performed when he is in this mode. There are many tasks being done, many people wined and dined, and things get pulled off successfully. This is great. But the image he feels he needs to portray when “being on” is false. There is no depth to his character. He is not sharing any of his experiences and I don’t really even feel as if I know him at all. He is entertaining the crowd and controlling his interactions in order to illicit a certain response from them.
As I have explored this concept of “being on” further…what people seem to really mean is “being perfect”. The goal of “being on” requires projecting an image that you have it all under control, you are all together and don’t make mistakes. Another thing that seems to accompany “being on” is the need to give answers and give direction to other people. I know people who refer to needing to “be on” when leading their small group, going to church or even hanging out with friends. It is all about controlling your image so that other people don’t realize how messy you are.
Interesting.
It got me thinking about Jesus. I wonder if Jesus felt the need to “be on”. Do you think that Jesus put on a show when he was with people? Did he take charge and pull everything together while keeping everyone happy? Or did he take the time to get to know people on an individual level? Asking questions about them and listening to their hearts? Did he pretend everything was fine when he was sad and hurting? Did he stuff his anger and put on a happy face in a crowd? Did he control others? Do you think he really cared what people thought about him or do you think he cared more about being real?
I think we can expend so much energy into “being on” that we can forget that we are not expected to be perfect and under control all of the time. Jesus was perfect and he did not feel the need to “be on”. Are we so much better than him?
I think it actually backfires on us to “be on”. I find it turns people off when you have the answers all of the time. They think of you as arrogant and prideful. They feel like they can’t be real and messy because there is no example for them that it is okay to be that way. “Being on” can project an image of not needing anyone. For as long as I have known my “friend” who chooses to live his life “being on” – I can honestly say I don’t know him at all. I don’t know any of his story, anything that makes him tick, makes him sad or happy. All I know is the image he chooses to portray – which is so clearly a façade that it makes me wonder what is hiding behind it. What hurts and pain does he have? What hopes and dreams? These are the things that help me enter in to someone’s story along with them and really begin to know them. These are the things that I desire to hear – failures and disappointment, struggles and fears. When I hear those things I don’t judge the person as less worthy because they are not perfect – I actually find that those messy things are what draw me in.
I have a “friend” who I know who practices this “being on” thing. He is frequently (as a part of his job) in charge of putting on various productions. When he is doing this he switches into “being on” mode. It is as if there is a show being performed when he is in this mode. There are many tasks being done, many people wined and dined, and things get pulled off successfully. This is great. But the image he feels he needs to portray when “being on” is false. There is no depth to his character. He is not sharing any of his experiences and I don’t really even feel as if I know him at all. He is entertaining the crowd and controlling his interactions in order to illicit a certain response from them.
As I have explored this concept of “being on” further…what people seem to really mean is “being perfect”. The goal of “being on” requires projecting an image that you have it all under control, you are all together and don’t make mistakes. Another thing that seems to accompany “being on” is the need to give answers and give direction to other people. I know people who refer to needing to “be on” when leading their small group, going to church or even hanging out with friends. It is all about controlling your image so that other people don’t realize how messy you are.
Interesting.
It got me thinking about Jesus. I wonder if Jesus felt the need to “be on”. Do you think that Jesus put on a show when he was with people? Did he take charge and pull everything together while keeping everyone happy? Or did he take the time to get to know people on an individual level? Asking questions about them and listening to their hearts? Did he pretend everything was fine when he was sad and hurting? Did he stuff his anger and put on a happy face in a crowd? Did he control others? Do you think he really cared what people thought about him or do you think he cared more about being real?
I think we can expend so much energy into “being on” that we can forget that we are not expected to be perfect and under control all of the time. Jesus was perfect and he did not feel the need to “be on”. Are we so much better than him?
I think it actually backfires on us to “be on”. I find it turns people off when you have the answers all of the time. They think of you as arrogant and prideful. They feel like they can’t be real and messy because there is no example for them that it is okay to be that way. “Being on” can project an image of not needing anyone. For as long as I have known my “friend” who chooses to live his life “being on” – I can honestly say I don’t know him at all. I don’t know any of his story, anything that makes him tick, makes him sad or happy. All I know is the image he chooses to portray – which is so clearly a façade that it makes me wonder what is hiding behind it. What hurts and pain does he have? What hopes and dreams? These are the things that help me enter in to someone’s story along with them and really begin to know them. These are the things that I desire to hear – failures and disappointment, struggles and fears. When I hear those things I don’t judge the person as less worthy because they are not perfect – I actually find that those messy things are what draw me in.
posted by Amie at 2:08 PM
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